So I'm 7 weeks into a 10 week weight loss challenge that I thought I'd smash. I've lost somewhere between 1-2 kgs but officially with results at actual weigh in, only around 1. You'd think that I was eating crap or not exercising.... It's the opposite. While my workouts haven't been super crazy, I'm doing a variety of different things. I've mentioned before my change in eating as well. For whatever reason my body is deciding that right now, losing more weight is not essential.
Has this bothered me? Well yes, about 3 weeks ago I was on the verge of an obsessive meltdown because I wasn't meeting my expectations. I was seeing unhealthy behaviours in myself, not wanting to eat or wanting to binge, stepping on the scale every day, beating myself up because the number wasn't changing. Feeling pressure rather than motivated, feeling bad because I was comparing myself to others who were achieving, and basically non stop guilt. It is crazy how easy it is to fall into these behaviours and get into negative self talk which snowballs.
As someone who's had a turbulent relationship with food & weightloss in the past, it's even easier to fall back into old patterns....and to be honest it made me feel unstable (mentally). I'm a lot better than I used to be but I'm still not immune to having negative & unhealthy thoughts.
I didn't like how it made me feel. I'm not defined by a number on the scales. Why is it so easy to think you are?
Yes my whole journey has seemingly been about weight loss but actually it's been so much more than that. I'm not unhappy with how I look and I love what my body has done for me, yea I'd like to improve further and continue the journey, but I'm not going to go crazy in the process. I've changed my attitude to how I approach the rest of the challenge. The whole point of this is to encourage health, get moving and eat healthy... I'm doing my best every day to do that, so what more can I really ask for?
Weight is just another measure in your toolbox to health, it's not the be all and end all. When my body is ready, it will get going again. In the meantime, I'll carry on & enjoy every day. Hope you do the same.
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